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The New America
THE NEW AMERICAN WAY OF LIFE…GET ON BOARD~~~
For a guy and his girlfriend with two kids all you have to do is follow these proven steps:
- Don’t marry her!
- Always use your mom’s address to get your mail.
- The guy buys a house.
- The guy rents out house to his girlfriend with his 2 kids.
- Section 8 will pay $900 a month for a 3 bedroom home.
- Girlfriend signs up for Obamacare so guy doesn’t have to pay for family insurance.
- Girlfriend gets to go to college for free being a single mother
- Girlfriend gets $600 a month for food stamps.
- Girlfriend gets a free cell phone.
- Girlfriend get free utilities.
- Guy moves into home, but continues to use moms address for his mail.
- Girlfriend claims one kid and guy claims the other kid on their tax forms. Now both get to claim head of household at $1800 credit.
- Girlfriend gets $1,800 a month disability for being “crazy” or having a “bad back” and never has to work again.
This plan is perfectly legal and is being executed now by millions of people.
A married couple with a stay at home mom yields $0 dollars.
An unmarried couple with stay at home mom nets $21,600 disability + $10,800 free housing + $6,000 free obamacare + $6,000 free food + $4,800 free utilities + $6,000 pell grant money to spend + $12,000 a year in college tuition free from pell grant + $8,800 tax benefit for being a single mother = $75,000 a year in benefits!
Any idea why the country is $18 trillion plus in debt and half the population is sitting on their ass letting the other half pay their way???
Starvin Larry 
OK, make that 302 views. 🙂 I know I’m late to the party, but I swung by after you “Liked a post I did. So @ Shari. first I would say you are young, full of fight and probably have way to much time on your hands 🙂 . I got that it’s Satire right off the bat, but what’s troubling, and probably twisting your young mind is deep down you know some of this is probably true.
The system should be used as a safety net. I know. Been there done that. I guess we all have now.
But if you will just take a breath and stop trying to kill the messenger, you will realize you may be angry for the same reasons we are.
People are/have been gaming the system for ages, and it’s WRONG! to people like us.
Someday if people would stop to talk/listen we might find out we more in common than we think.
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OKAY so first, I was alive when Kennedy was assassinated so young at heart is as close as THAT comes! Time si most certainly NOT something I have an abundance of! Much of it is filled with trying to help the same people this OP was mocking. I was not trying to kill the messenger, I was simply stating that, imho,his comments were way off course, rude and scary at the least! My job, my life,entails listening and I do it VERY well! I have never disputed that SOME people abuse the system, but then that is true of ANY system! There is no need to regulate the entire thing to death for a few idiots that learn how to cheat! All that does is hurt the honest people that NEED it! Of we take away the rights of the many because of the actions of the few, we will all end up in virtual straight jackets and our freedom will at an end.
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Not my comments-it was re-posted,and the exact same thing was all over the interwebz the day I posted it,it was on no less than 20 OTHER sites. It was posted and shared allover farcebook,multiple people posted it on twitter.
Out of the 302 views on my site as of the time Steve posted-there were exactly two people who submitted comments showing that they did not get that it was satire.
My family-from my youngest daughter who’s 22,to my uncle who’s 81,all realized it was satire.
It’s way more than a few who “game the system”,go into the poor neighborhoods of any large city,and you will find people willing to pay cash for others SNAP/TANF food benefit,you will find women who’s boyfriends live with them,and who work,yet the woman claims it’s just her and the kids living in the home.
You’ll find a heck of a lot of those receiving benefits working for cash so they don’t lose “food stamps” and section 8-I turned my ex-wife in for doing just that-nothing was done. She had her boyfriend living with her, and was collecting “food stamps” for our kids that I had custody of,and who only saw her on weekends.
Nothing was done.
When I had the 2 year+ series of surgeries,and applied for assistance-I was told that I could NOT collect SNAP/”food stamps”for the kids unless my ex took them off of HER case-our kids who I had full custody of and who I proved lived with me.
It wasn’t just her scamming the system,the entire neighborhood she lived in would trade x number of dollars from their EBT food card for cash and/or drugs.
There’s way more people scamming the system than you seem to believe there is.
Anyhow-you are one of two out of 300 people who didn’t get that the post was satire. Why is that?
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Steve let me start by clarifying glaringly errant assumption, I am not what anyone would call young except perhaps an octogenarian or so. I was alive when Kennedy was assassinated, let’s leave it at that, shall we? Second, I was never trying to kill the messenger, only enlighten him a bit. Since this time I have shown the article to many in it’s raw form and almost all agree, it does NOT come off as satirical in and of itself.One of the main reasons that it is missing that mark? there are several points that are legitimate and well known loopholes!
My job… my LIFE is all about listening to others and I am VERY good at it! I have not ever said that there are not some that abuse the system, I have helped to stop a few myself, but that is the exception not the norm and regulating the system usually hurts the honest person that NEEDS the service far more than the crafter criminals that always find a way to cheat!
As for excess time, oh how I wish!
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Oh good then let me make something extremely clear I most certainly DO have the right to be offended or not, so that is a falsehood right there. I stated facts and my opinion and made a suggestions of how to treat people and THAT I have a right to do, too. If you want to continue to post stuff that is mistaken in intent hey, you know, go for it, but then expect people to come in and say something about it because people take the words at face value and this face is rude, biased, unfair and false.
Finally, I hope someday you find that life has led you to have experience having to live on welfare, even short term, just so you can experience how painful, humiliating and tedious it is.
I wish you well, I wish you a mighty and enlightened pen, I wish you experience. May you have an INTERESTING life!
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“Finally, I hope someday you find that life has led you to have experience having to live on welfare, even short term, just so you can experience how painful, humiliating and tedious it is.”
Been there-done that. Notice the picture on the left side of the site-that torture device with pins and wires going through the bone was on my leg for over 2 years.
Kinda hard to work like that when you do construction work,now isn’t it?
We had to sign up to get medical for our kids-and food stamps.
The “welfare” system was designed to provide temporary help-not for families to live off of it for generations.
Sorry you can’t see that something is satire-here’s a hint-stop taking everything so serious-it will do wonders for your health.
And no,you do not have the right not to be offended-the “right to not being offended” is not protected under the Constitution,or under any law.
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I have the right to be offended, there is no law against it and no one will do anything against it. You would find an almighty fight if you tried to stop it, this country is all about being offended these days As to recognizing satire, as a writer I know it well and when it is done right, and well, I DO recognize it. I think it is flat out hilarious that you are getting so bloody butt hurt at someone calling you on it! Want me to stop answering your posts? Stop putting out the provoking comments, better yet just stop talking to me, will go away.
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I could have made you go away long ago-by not approving your comments.
If you believe you have the right to be offended then you do not understand the Constitution,or U.S.laws.
Yes,far,far too many special snowflakes achieve protected class status do to the social justice warriors bleating about any and every so-called cause,and the leftist infiltration of our public education system from K-12 through college.
Very,very few stand up to all this politically correct horsepucky-but more and more people are sick of it-and working to change it.
I’m not butthurt about anything-you’re the one that’s all offended-meaning butthurt-not me.
I received the piece via e-mail-there was no attribution attached to it-I simply found it funny,and posted it. Not my fault if people are so lacking in critical thinking that they just automatically get all offended-it says a lot about how far this country has fallen.
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oh and the other sites you mention are SATIRICAL site the WHOLE THING is satire!
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This is not possible to do EXACTLY as you have laid out here and it is anything BUT legal to do most of it:
2. – 5. section 8 are VERY particular about knowing the landlord and if anyone is caught living in the same house,they stop paying and a lifetime ban is initiated. Add to that the fact that most places the WAITING list for housing is closed and even when open can take between 2-5 years to get on. Then there is a ton of stuff that has to proven and documented to get ON section 8 housing.
6. If the gf is on any kind of ongoing assistance she would be on medicaid/’medicare and would not e able to get the government insurance.
7. there is no free college for ANYONE any more! Pell grant alone will not cover even community college tuition in full much less books and anything extra. You must go to school full time to qualify. this means you must maintain your grades which would mean child care to some degree, even if studying at home.
8. Depending on other income she might not get this amount and getting on it is fairly involved, if you are not working or going to school you must be looking and they require certain events REQUIRED to be attended and that you cannot get out of so again child care is a factor and it is not just about sitting at home. You can no longer just stay home and crank out babies to get services. Add to that there is time limits to it now.
9. The cell phone has a 250/250 limit and you either have to have your own phone ( data is NOT included in this program ) or use a crappy little phone and again limited use.
10.there is no such thing as free utilities!
11. get caught and there is a lifetime ban AND possible jail/prison time.
12 this one’s a doozy!!!! you cannot claim taxes IF YOU DO NOT WORK! Even if you do the amount depends on how much you have earned you also have to be living with the dependent unless you are a parent. This second child would have to be able to prove they live with the bf and then the mom would not be able to get all the other benefits for that child. This is another one that if caught you are talking IRS and they have zero sense of humor about fraud.
13. another incorrect statement, you have to prove disability and it is NOT easy to do! Especially for the mentally challenged. The doctors that SSA insists you use are well trained to spot fakes and even those that are legit have a difficult time getting approved. Again getting caught this way is another jailable offense.
All said this is not possible to do exactly as laid out and it is NOT perfectly legal to do so FAIL!
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sat·ire
ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
noun
noun: satire
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.
synonyms: mockery, ridicule, derision, scorn, caricature; More
irony, sarcasm
“he has become the subject of satire”
a play, novel, film, or other work that uses satire.
plural noun: satires
“a stinging satire on American politics”
synonyms: parody, burlesque, caricature, lampoon, skit; More
informalspoof, takeoff, sendup
“a satire on Canadian politics”
a genre of literature characterized by the use of satire.
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if that had been made clear perhaps that would be one thing but people are BELIEVING this shit and are using it to post on social media as a valid source. Sad to say SOME of it is even truth but not the whole thing and again, there is not one thing in there that says this is satirical.
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Funny how I recognized it as satire when I saw it in an e-mail sent to me-and I’m far from the first person to post this on a blog or website.
When people write/post satire they do not have to explain it-just like most people don’t explain something is sarcasm when they post it.
There’s a reason TV commercials are made making fun of people who believe everything they see on the intardnet-there are far too many clueless people these days.
What happened to people thinking for themselves?
No one does,they all follow the herd,all jump on the latest “cause” on facebook or twitter-even when the cause is bullshit.
Sort of like the hands up don’t shoot crowd-the whole thing was and is based on a lie.
Yet people blindly followed the “movement”.
Sorry-I’m not going to post a disclaimer for everything I post that’s satire or sarcasm.
People post shit on social media from the Onion,and other satire sites without realizing it’s satire all the time-they need to learn to think for themselves before they post.
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Consider this… I have never seen this site before, nor read anything posted by this author. I see nothing here that claims this is meant to be anything but straight forward posting. The commercials you mention ? Well there is something to be said for TONE… something that is missing in type. Finally, as I have mentioned, there are people taking this as serious! In part because the author is mixing reality in with the other drivel. I am NOT following ANYONE blindly or I would not have come in and posted ANYTHING I would simply have posted this being such sophomoric and moronic idiocy that the author must be a fool. Stop bashing people as an answer it is low class and useless and means nothing because there is nothing behind it, except hot air.
One more thing, stop posting to me I do not care what you think I was not speaking to YOU! Unless you are the author that is.
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Yeah,the whopping 301 views that post got over the past 3 days is where everyone got this from-it’s been posted all over the intardnet-on multiple blogs,by multiple people.
I did not “bash” you or anyone else-I’m sorry but you do not have the right to not be offended,nor do you have the right to tell me not to reply to you when you are posting on MY site.
Don’t like the site-don’t come back-it’s simple.
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