Whether they walk on two legs or four, cattle tend to fear chaos more than the abattoir. But that’s the conclusion, let me start with the preface.
Can you help Farmer Joe and his son get a cow out of a well?
That was the initial exchange between Mrs. Porter and me to a call for aid from the wife of a family friend. The next Q&A was a bit more pointed.
What the fuck do I know about extracting a goddamned cow from a well?
Just go help them.
And so sometime later I found myself in the unusual position of looking down at a highly perturbed juvenile bull securely plugged into the bottom of a narrow hole in the ground.
How in the hell?
Farmer Joe and his 20-something son offered no response aside from shrugs. They had been futilely laboring throughout the morning to liberate…
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